


Flirting 101: Frisbees Optional

by RiseHigh



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Class Secret Santa, Gen, In which Tanya has a crush, and it goes slightly off the rails, and needs advice, as one would expect, but then it gets on the rails again, on a cute girl her age, so she goes to quill, thanks to bitter sarcastic cupid quill, yeah that's a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 10:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13165437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiseHigh/pseuds/RiseHigh
Summary: There was no formula or equation to explain why dark brown hair, gray green eyes, and freckles were so distracting.So she had texted Quill.Not explicitly for advice, but to train.This, it turned out, might be her biggest problem.





	Flirting 101: Frisbees Optional

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evilqueenofgallifrey (MayFairy)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayFairy/gifts).



> Dear evilqueenofgallifrey, I'm not sure if this what you were envisioning with Tanya going to Quill for flirting advice, but this is what happened when I put the two of them in a room together.

Tanya was above average—brilliant really.  She knew this.  It wasn’t something she bragged about.  It merely a fact.

Logarithmic equations. Binomial expansions. Euler’s formula.

The things average teenagers dreaded she enjoyed.  They weren’t necessarily easy, but Tanya knew how to tackle these kinds of problems.  There were patterns, methodologies, and formulas she could follow.  There was a logic to it—even when they are theoretical, the logic remains.

None of this, however, was applicable to her current situation.

There was no formula or equation to explain why dark brown hair, gray green eyes, and freckles were so distracting. 

It was Damon’s fault—well, not directly—but he was the one who suggested that she find something non-alien related to do like a normal teenager.  Tanya kept pushing him off, but she realized that Damon trying to help her was his own way of dealing with everything, so she had agreed to join something after the holidays. 

Which is how Tanya found herself assisting the student newspaper with layouts twice a week.

With Holly.

And her slightly frizzy dark brown hair.

And her sarcasm.

And smirk.

Which was Tanya’s first problem.

Her second problem was that she was fairly certain she was utterly incapable of flirting.  It was like she was missing a gene or something, which was ridiculous since there was no such thing as a flirting a gene.  But if there was, she would definitely not have it.

She had social skills—more or less anyway—but this was different.

There was always research, but neither relationship books nor magazines were really geared towards fourteen-year-olds who spend roughly 4 hours a week in the office of the school newspaper with an adorably snarky brunette.

When had she started thinking of Holly adorable?

Tanya needed advice, but her third problem was that she didn’t have anyone to ask.  Her brothers were a no—Ram was a no for the same reason.  Her grandma was a definite no—Tanya didn’t even want to think about what her grandma would say.  Charlie was clueless and, besides, he and Matteusz went from virtual strangers to boyfriends in like half a second.  April, no doubt, would love to help, but Tanya didn’t need the kind of well-meaning (and likely overexcited) advice that would make her feel like a little kid.

So she had texted Quill. 

Not explcitly for advice, but to train. 

This, it turned out, might be her biggest problem.

* * *

“Ow!” Tanya exclaimed as she fell backwards thanks to a kick from Quill she hadn’t seen coming.

This was the fourth time Quill had caught her off guard.  Tanya was fairly certain that Athena—who was in a bouncy chair off to the side of the room—had giggled even though babies that age were supposedly unable to laugh.  Quill, of course, offered her no sympathy and just reached down to help pull her up.

“Thanks.”

She got ready to start again, but Quill just stood there with her arms crossed.

“You’re distracted,” the blonde said sharply.  “Why?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“You texted me and said you wanted to train.”

Tanya tried to look casual. “Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have stuff going on.”

“You’re being evasive.  This isn’t a family thing—you actively avoid talking about family things.” Quill frowned as she studied her.  “You’re barely avoiding this, so it must be teen angst.”

“It’s not teen angst.  I don’t have angst,” she said defensively. Quill just looked at her expectantly until she continued, “I just can’t flirt.”

“What?”

“Flirt. There’s this girl, and I have no idea how to flirt with her.”

“Why do you need to flirt?”

“I told you—there’s a girl.”

“What girl?”

“You know how I’m helping the paper with layouts twice a week?” she asked and Quill nodded curtly.  “There’s this girl—Holly—who’s one of the writers.”

“So?”

“I think I like her.”

“Then tell her.”

“I can’t.  Besides, we’re not the only people in the newspaper office.”

“So?”

“It’s not just something you blurt out—especially not in front of people.”  Tanya watched as Quill dramatically rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something.  “Don’t say humans are stupid, because I already feel stupid enough about all of this.”

“It’s not your fault your species has stupid customs.”

This time Tanya rolled her eyes before going to sit down.  “Thanks.”

“Shouldn’t this be something you ask April about?” Quill walked over to her bag. “I’m sure she’d love to give you advice.”

“Which is exactly why I can’t talk to her.”  Tanya watched in horror as Quill pulled out her phone. “And you can’t either.”

“As if I would willingly call Miss MacLean.”

Tanya sighed and reached for the water bottle in her own bag.  Texting Quill had probably been the wrong decision. Quill, however, seemed to be completely unbothered by any of this.  She was now seated with one hand casually resting on Athena’s bouncy chair and the other busy scrolling through her phone.

“Does she have a hat?” Quill asked abruptly.

“What?”

“Does this Holly have a hat?”

“Not that I’ve seen. Why?”

“Number 7 on the list of 36 Best Flirting tips,” Quill read from her phone.  “ _Borrow their hat. You can give it back eventually. Just not until they see how cute you look in it!_ ”

“That’s idiotic.”

“What’s a Tic Tac?”

“A kind of mint.”

“Do you have them? Because asking someone if you want one of those or gum, is…” Quill paused to raise her fingers to make air quotes. “ _The world’s easiest ice breaker_.  What dating rituals involve ice and why would one need to break it?”

“It’s an expression for starting a conversation. There is no actual ice.”  This was going terribly, which is something Tanya should have been able to predict.  “Where did you find this list?”

“Magazine for teenagers, which you are.”

“Those lists are dumb.”

Quill scrunched up her face as she studied her phone.  “You should try to do things accidentally—like jokingly ask her on a date, physically bump into her, or throw a Frisbee at her.  What’s a…?”

Tanya cut off the question. “A plastic disc you can throw—kind of like a ball.”

“Well, apparently, if you _throw your Frisbee toward cuties in the park, an exaggerated apology lets them know you're flirting on purpose (and in on the joke)_.”  Quill looked up from her phone.  “Do you have one of these Frisbees?  I can buy you one.”

“No.”

“I have the Amazon app on my phone.  What color would you like?  No, I will surprise you.”

“No.”

“Fine,” Quill sighed dramatically as she tapped her phone.  “What about chapstick? You can use it in the newspaper office to draw attention to your lips.”

“Quill, stop. Please.”

“Or gloss?  That would be better.  I can get you lip gloss.”  Tanya reached for the phone but Quill was faster, and just kept on reading, “ _Make dates spontaneously. Text, "I'm craving a McFlurry!! Drop what you're doing and hit the drive-thru with me?_ " and then add a little winky smile.”

Tanya groaned audibly. “I don’t need you to read me an online article.”

“Right, I can just text it to you.”

“Quill…”

“Oh, calm down.” Quill broke out into a smile.  “Do teenagers really follow this kind of advice?  It’s asinine.”

“I’m sure some do.”

“And all those people will be worse at flirting than whatever you are or are not doing.  Give it time.”  Quill dropped her phone back into her bag and stood up.  “Now, come on.  I need to feed Athena in fifteen minutes, but we can get in more drills.”

* * *

Four days later, Tanya found herself being marched down the school hallway by Quill.

“I can’t believe you’re giving me detention.  How are you even doing this?”

“I’m a teacher.  You’re a student.  That’s how this works.”

“But you’re on parental leave.  You’re not going to be back for a month.”

“I thought I’d start easing back into it.”

“By giving me detention?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

"Because.”  Quill stopped suddenly and Tanya near crashed into her.  When Tanya didn’t move, Quill pointed at the door.  “Well, go on.”

“This isn’t your classroom.”

“Well, as you so aptly pointed out, I am on leave, which means I currently don’t even have a classroom.”

“Is this even a real detention?  What are you up to?”

Quill rolled her eyes, opened the door, and walked inside.  Tanya followed and was surprised to see Holly seated at one of the desks.  This was Quill's plan--she was playing matchmaker like some kind of bitter sarcastic cupid.  Tanya stood there frozen until Quill cleared her throat.

“Now,” Quill began once Tanya took a seat. “You will both stay in the classroom for the next hour.  If you leave, I will know.”

With that, Quill abruptly left the classroom.  The door closed and Tanya looked at Holly who gave her a half-shrug.

“So what’d you do?” Tanya asked.

“I honestly don’t know.  She just said detention, so I went.  What about you?”

“I think I was late for class, or something.”

“Miss Quill’s not even one of my teachers,” Holly complained. “Plus, isn’t she supposed to be on maternity leave?”

“I…”

“You know what? I don’t even care.  We’re stuck here so we might as well the make the most of it.” Holly stood up and pulled a chair up next to Tanya.  “You said you’re into gaming, right?  Do you have anything on your phone?”

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, getting this posted at 11:25pm...with a whopping 35 min to spare (in my time zone anyway)....Merry Secret Santa! :)


End file.
